AWTK #1 (life after the wedding.)

Aggie started these series of memes which I think are not the usual memes to gain technorati links. These are serious memes that need to be pondered on which explains my very delayed entry. (aggie, palusot pa lol!)

AWTK #1: Topic No. 1: Life After the Wedding - the Married Life.
What are the things you want your children to know about life after the wedding?

Like Aggie, I was too overwhelmed with the wedding preparations that I have never thought of what married life will be nor envisioned it before I said I do. We were head over heels in love with each other and can't wait to get hitched. All I wanted at that time was to be with Titan, 24/7 or at least live and sleep under one roof with him. I am proud to say, though, that we had one successful wedding, all our hardwork, labor of love and sweat over the smallest details paid off. It's nice to watch the video or look at your wedding photos when things get bad in your marriage. This will help you look back on how much love you have for each other.

We were together for almost 9 years before we got married. Despite the length of the relationship we had, there were still surprises during the marriage life itself. Our 1st year was a bed of roses, financially, emotionally and physically. We received a lot of money gifts and hubby was doing good in his job that we didn't have a hardtime establishing a house of our own. We were all over the Philippines travelling, we were having weekly gimiks and parties at home, practically enjoying our time as a couple. Until the announcement of being pregnant with Ethan came on the 8th month of our marriage. On the 1st year that we had Ethan, there were lots of fights, I was probably having a post-natal thing as I was very irritable at that time. You see, I never took care of anyone in my entire life, I am so used to be taken care of. Titan somehow, spoiled too as he was the maasikaso partner in our relationship. So, I was overwhelmed with my new role as a mother that even the littlest detail made me cranky. Good thing as Titan was the ever patient and understanding husband but was not 24/7 hands-on dad, (Haha!) not until we got here. When Ethan was on his 5th month, we had to be separated with Titan (again!) for a year as he was promoted and got a provincial assignment in Negros. I couldn't just leave my job at the Canadian Embassy. But, I guess all the separations we had in the many years of our life together made us stronger all these years. When he came back to Manila, we spent some few months together and then got separated for another 8 months (again!) as he went ahead to U.S. before Ethan and I settled with him here. It was hard but I guess God wanted us to be in that kind of situation because we were in store for a bigger and happier life here or maybe because out of the many other couples He knows that we had a stronger foundation that even time and distance can break us apart. When we got here, we had to adjust with each other all over again. This time it was harder as there were no family support, no helpers, no yayas. It's true what they say that migration makes or breaks a family. Luckily for us, we became stronger as one unit. Here are the realities of Married Life that I want my Children to know:

1. Get to know each other very well before getting married, not only your spouse but also his family (most especially) and his friends. Party hard with your partner before getting married, get to know the wild side of your partner. Travel together as by travelling you will see his/her true colors.
2. Wait, wait, wait before taking the plunge. If you get pregnant or you get your girlfriend pregnant, don't jump into marriage (unless you're truly ready for it with or without the pregnancy), it is never a solution.
3. Lay down all your cards before getting married, from past relationships, the kind of family you both are coming from (no cover-ups!) and most especially your financial standing. No hiding secrets. We were black and white when we get married.
4. No expectations from day one of the marriage so you won't have any hard time accepting the flaws of your spouse. There will be flaws, lots, but don't dwell on those.
5. Face it, even the simplest details of everyday life can piss both of you. So try to find someone who has the same upbringing as yours. I don't believe in opposites attract but more of learn to compliment each other. Remember, the very best character you fell in love with your spouse through the years will be also be the same character you will hate in the future. So find joy in his/her other personalities, I tell you we have more than 1!
6. If you want some aspect of your spouse to change, change should start within yourself. Be a better person for each other.
7. For Ethan, provide well for your family. For Ysobel, don't spend too much of your husband's income. Save save save, so money won't be an issue.
8. In-laws are in-laws, they have been there before you met each other. Respect the family of your spouse so as he/she would respect your family. If you can't deal with the in-laws, let your partner deal with them but remember your family now is your number one priority.
9. For Ethan, prioritize your spouse over your kids and for Ysobel, focus on your kids but don't forget your spouse's needs.
10. Pray together. Make God the center of everything in your married life. When you can't compromise over a decision, sleep on it and let God do the rest. Have a weekly novena or rosary time, we do.
11. Sit-down and talk on how you would raise your kids and when 1 parent is disciplining a kid, don't make kampi, let him/her do it. Be consistent with your kids. This will avoid confusion on your children.
12. Marry your bestfriend.
13. Don't embarass your partner infront of your/his/her family or friends nor bring them down.
14. If the marriage is falling apart, consider counselling and remember your church vows.
15. Ysobel, prepare his coffee if he drinks one, he will like it. Ethan, give him flowers, she will like it.
16. Don't sleep with an enemy. Kiss & make-up before going to bed.
17. Watch out each other's health and physique as they are equally important as watching each other's spending habits.
18. And this I got from Peachy, to my daughter, be a mistress to your husband and to Ethan, be hot for your wife! It's okay to be wild in bed, you're married.
19. Say I love you all the time not only before going to bed but also on short phone conversations and text messages, even emails.

We are celebrating our 5th on the 26th of December this year. So far, so good. I can never imagine life without him. You can call us the adventurous couple but that's what makes our married life challenging. It's actually fun to get married much more be on a long-distance relationship, para kayo laging nagliligawan. In marriage, you will experience the most extreme emotions. We had our highs and lows, laughter and tears, disappointments and triumphs. Our marriage is a genuine rollercoaster ride and we are learning from each other everyday. When I look back and everytime we had little fights (and sometimes big), I realize how God has blessed me with the power of love. Being married to the man who I am so madly in love with and who is madly in love with me. I met him at 15 and he was 16, and we feel we were always the odd couple in highschool but now with bills and a toddler to boot.

Why 19? because we were together on 0319. Eversince, 19 has been our favorite number.